Lessons For My Kids

Yes, yes, I know I said I wouldn't be writing as much and then I totally wrote almost every day this week. Sometimes caring for myself also means getting the concepts OUT that are taking up space in my head that I need for other purposes.

Did you know that literally everyone is pregnant or has just given birth?

Ok, that's not true of course, but if you scrolled through my Facebook newsfeed, you would think it is.

I don't have kids yet, but all this baby mania makes me think about what lessons I would like my hypothetical future child(ren) to learn from me--not just in the things that I tell them, but by also how I live my life and the kind of person I am. Unfortunately, my childhood was not always full of positive implicit and explicit messaging. Frequently, I was made to feel pretty worthless. This is why I believe in family of choice. Given that, I greatly wish that the family I create with Ronald will be a family that my kid(s) choose without question. So without further ado, here are a few things I hope I teach:

1. Love is a feeling, it's not a gender. 
2. Labels and categories are great for organizing, but not for people. Even the labels you cling most closely to for yourself will fail you at some point. 
3. You (and those around you) should respect your body, but it is not who you are. You are so much more.
4. Real beauty is transmitted and understood through actions not looks. 
5. You'll never feel good in the long run by shaming someone else. There might be a momentary satisfaction of bringing someone else down, but it will fade.
6. If you don't laugh until you cry or can't breathe at least once every few days, something's gotta change.
7. Every single person deserves dignity.
8. Money matters, but not nearly as much as we're told. 
9. Be thoughtful with your choices, because you will be held accountable for them. It's ok to mess up, learn from it, and try again. But you should always be able to explain why you made any given choice in the first place. There is no excuse for mindlessness.
10. Selfishness is not always a bad thing. 
11. Sometimes, relationships (of all kinds) must end. It's not easy, but once you realize that it is necessary for your own well being, then you need to take action to protect yourself. 
12. Hate is wasted emotion and energy. Sometimes, you just have to learn that the hard way. More than once. 

What lessons have you taught/would you want to teach your kids/nieces and nephews/mentees/younger friends?