Someone passed me this story earlier today and I can't help but throw in my 2 cents. Time Magazine is running a cover story about attachment parenting and they are clearly trying to be edgy and controversial about it. In fact, the cover story reads, "Are You Mom Enough?" and depicts a woman who is breast feeding her preschool aged son.
Here's the cover:
Truth is that I can't access the full article as I'm unwilling to pay for a Time subscription. However, that's beside the point, because what really bothers me is the line "Are You Mom Enough?" I don't need to read the full material to see that's a problematic and intentionally inflammatory headline, regardless of article content.
Attachment parenting has been coming up in feminist spheres lately. In fact, as Feministe reported, a roundtable was hosted by the New York Times called "Attachment Parenting vs. Feminism."
Once more I say: SIGH.
What I'm pissed about is how there is a bunch of division, competition, and judgement being promoted about parenting, specifically mothering. I mean, what a challenge those words are: Are you mom enough? The implications are that real mothering is attachment parenting. And the vs. in that roundtable title is certainly creating a false dichotomy between attachment parenting and feminism.
Look, I'm no parenting expert, so I'll never promote one type of parenting over another around here. I'm not going to comment on extended breastfeeding. I'm not saying mothers must stay home or must work outside the home. I'm not even promoting having kids over not. But what I do have a big, big problem with is the judgment spread around on all sides. The reality is that parenting is hard work and most people are just trying to do their best and figure it out as they go. How does throwing judgment at another parent help anyone?
I just wish that parents, mothers specifically, could go a bit easier on each other. And Time Magazine isn't helping.
yep. that's what I've been stuck on the challenging, inflammatory statement of "Are you mom enough?" with her defiant pose sends a judgmental message from the start. her choice is totally valid, but it ain't the only one.
ReplyDeleteUm, I don't think this women chose the headline.
DeleteI also hate how it's sooo focused on mothers, just reinforcing that mothers are so much more important than fathers (who "babysit"). Seriously, can you imagine a headline saying "Are you Dad enough?"
ReplyDeleteMoms just can't win, can we? If we don't breastfeed, we're not mom enough, and if we do, we're disgusting and must be hidden from public view. It seems every week I hear a new story about a nursing mother who is discriminated against for breastfeeding in public, an action that is both protected by law in most states and often unavoidable since infants eat frequently and never at convenient times. I'd like to say that those who critque moms the most in regards to breastfeeding aren't moms and don't understand the complexities and challenges that come with nursing, but I'd be wrong. The biggest bullies I've seen perpetuating the 'Mommy Wars' are mothers.
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