Sigh. I'm a glutton for punishment.
I should have learned long ago, and I said I would learn, that The Mindy Project is garbage. But I keep tuning in. And 75% of the time, I like the show for being mindless fun. That other 25% should have sent me packing by now. I feel like a really bad feminist.
(I'm going to kinda go off on this one, so you've been warned.)
This week's episode was all about how Mindy and her boyfriend/coworker Danny were having sex and he "slipped"...presumably into her b-hole. (Oh lord, I just wrote b-hole into a blog post.) She was all "WTF?" and he was all "Whoops!"
From there it turned into this really fucked up situation where he lied about it not once, but twice: 1) In saying it was an accident because he couldn't see well (in reality he did it on purpose) and 2) In saying that he had experienced anal sex before and wanted to try it with her (he hadn't before.)
So Mindy's reaction is to freak out about it--that's her usual reaction as a character on the show which, again, is about 75% funny. This was one of the 25%. She is all "I only pretend to be sexually adventurous, I'm actually a prude" but thinks that in order to keep Danny, she's got to try new stuff. However, she's too afraid to try new stuff so she has Morgan, the newly graduated Nurse Practitioner, prescribe her a sedative. She LITERALLY says to him, "I need to do something I'm too nervous to do but I can't legally be unconscious when it happens."
THIS on prime time TV. THIS on the show where they can't have a character actually say, "I want to try anal sex" the whole fucking episode, but a casual rape references is apparently hilarious and more than allowed.
Time for a classic Alan Rickman gif.
But it gets worse...Mindy lands herself in the hospital after taking the sedative goes horribly wrong. (She "roofied" herself OMG LOL!!!1!!!) So she and Danny finally actually talk honestly about their shitty sex life. (Jesus tap dancing Christ was that so hard?!?!) And at this point, Mindy says what she could have said from the start...
"Hey, if you want to try something new, just ask me." (WHOA! Revolutionary!)
Wait for it...wait for it...
Danny's response is something along the lines of how "But I don't wanna" or how annoying that is (I can't remember the exact wording because at this point I had rage ringing in my ears.) And then there's a joke about how asking to kiss her there in the hospital, or whatever, kills the mood.
Again...
I seriously can't with this shit. No lesson learned at all I guess.
I want to like Mindy Kaling so bad, y'all. I really do. But why does she keep writing this stuff into her show? I think that one of the most insidious things about the whole this is how cutesy and light the demeanor of it all is, when the show continues to deal with really serious topics so fucking horribly.
Basically...
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The saddest part about this scenario is that it's a very common one. I also wanna state that it's a fault on both parties there. As a man, I know I am physically stronger than most women.. especially one half my size. I should naturally know that while I can easily take what I want, being an actual man- a protector of his woman(that is what I was raised up and taught to be)- it is a truly a sign of respect and love to ask. If that is a buzz kill then you are a borderline rapist pal. But at the same time ladies have to speak up about how they wish to be treated in the bedroom. Or honestly anywhere. Treat yourselves with respect and the chances of loses like that sliding into your life are a little bit slimmer. But make no mistake about it... guys like that are indeed losers.
ReplyDeleteYes, open communication is key. But the absence of "speaking up" is not consent. Hence, you either ask or don't do it.
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